Why don’t I write in my mother tongue?

I have been wondering a lot for a long time why I hardly write in my mother tongue.

Strangely I have always felt more comfortable to write in English. I don’t mind to translate what I wrote into German and really enjoy that but if I get creative it is in English. I have read some of the refugee poets and authors from WWII like Hilde Domin or Kurt Tucholski and most of them missed talking in German. They mainly did their writing and poems in German which just seems natural.But for me it is hard to talk in German. I feel strange, miss words or the way you say different things. It is not that I do not know it any more. It just does not feel comfortable.

Have been thinking about this more after I read Diego Marani‘s “New Finish Grammar” which is about language and identity. What does this say about my identity both as a person and as an author? I often think in more mystical ways like I was supposed to be born in an English speaking country and just have come home at last. Well actually that is exactly how it feels like for me: I have come home at last both in language and in the country.

A good thing really for an immigrant and a compliment for the country. It still strikes me as strange and I wonder what it means for me!

 

Still not back….

…. to writing the novel. But I am writing more than enough lately. Got a bit carried away when I wrote about the evening with Diego Marani but well I am in training and can make my mistakes ;-). Am also taking part in that German poetry project which ends in June: A poem a day and no excuses. It feels a bit like a holiday as I have not been writing a lot of poems for a few months. Seems though that my inner creative person was longing for some as I believe you do not meet anyone without a reason.

I also felt that I need to say something about the copyright discussions around the world. For some strange reason I feel more and more compelled to do my own thing and not go the publishing way. Self-pub is the magic word which might not make me a millionaire but maybe makes me happy.

And yes of course my poetry book project. Nearly finished with this one ~ still working on the foreword but can not wait to get it out there.

But I can see that she works underneath. Zara I mean. Still reading up on how to create a perfect novel on different levels and with different media. It’s fun. It makes sense for my life. I enjoy doing that and as I have learned throughout life: If you enjoy it the Universe will sort out the rest :-).